Getting Dumped: The Pros and Cons

I like to make lists.  I also just got dumped.  What a better time to make a nice light list of the pros and cons (not that it was a decision I have a say in, or anything)

Why getting dumped just totally sucks:

1. The whole terminology, "getting dumped" just sounds yucky.  Isn't "dumped" what happens to things that are eventually flushed down a toilet?
   
2. All those new mutual friends he introduced me to... are no longer mutual.  He gets full custody.
3. Odds of ever getting back those 3 Brazilian Groove CDs:  slim to none.
4. I had been learning Russian and LOVING it.  Now I get to practice with... my boss?
5. Single once again in New York City.
6. My social life for the foreseeable future:  Me and my CFA books/practice tests, 5 more weeks of marathon training, and my robotic, workaholic colleagues.  Although I did just download a pretty picture of Colorado scenery as my new computer desktop.
7. Ben & Jerry's does not as of yet make a line of post-breakup flavors-though maybe we have some potential. Let's start with "Suddenly Strawberry Single-cake", "Cry Me A Raisin", "Just Got Dipped" or "Stupid Boys-n' Berries."
8. The whole "it's not you, it's me," isn't at all comforting, and admitting "he's just not that into you" is just so cliche.  Nobody likes rejection.  Let's start a movement to reject rejection.
9. Humor may be a band-aid, but moving from "boyfriend" to "ex-boyfriend" is a painful process.  Especially when you listen to the "our songs," look at old pictures, remember little inside jokes, or come across something that triggers a certain memory together... and then remember that you're no longer together.

Why there is most likely a rainbow on the other side of a breakup:

1. Think of all the extra time now I'll now get to devote to the CFA exam (aka my three other boyfriends, Charlie, Francois, and Alexander).
   
2. Learning Russian is pretty easy, so why stop now?  And even better, it has made me realize how much I like learning languages.  How about Chinese next?  
3. I guess this means I can throw away this Jalapeno-Ginger flavored butter he and a buddy made guilt-free.  Not a big Jalapeno fan.
4. That $100 Niketown gift card I won, and was planning on sharing with him so that we could go running together?  Hello new running shoes and new marathon-outfit!
5. Single once again in New York City.
6. I like garlic as much as the next person, but no longer do I have to eat full raw cloves just to stay kissably-competitive.
7. Though I am a huge fan of the NYC subway system, no more train rides to the very end of the line.  Which also conveniently minimizes the odds of running into him on the one day you leave your apartment in sweats, no makeup, and haven't showered in 4 days.
8. You have to get dumped before you can have that inevitable post-breakup encounter with the dumper.  At a time, of course, when you will look absolutely stunning and will be radiating total fabulousness, leaving him wondering what ever was he thinking breaking up with you? 
9. I have an amazing sister and some pretty fantastic girlfriends who are unconditionally supportive, will always take my side, and still want to hang out with me despite months of ditching "girls night out" for "date night."  

Artwork!

A lovely horse carriage in Central Park 

A tile mosaic of Upper West Side brownstones

You know what kind of sucks?

...getting dumped.  Whether you partially expect it to happen or are caught completely off guard, being the "break-up-eee" is never any fun.

On the positive note, I just discovered all these cool things you can do in photoshop.  

Send good vibes!

Runner's High

Not every run is a great run, and the elusive "runner's high" is not exactly a myth, but more an exception than the norm.

Today's run was both.  I ran 22 miles and felt great.  As usual, my strategy is to start out easier and really push it towards the end.  But unlike previous runs where my pace-per-mile for the first 6 miles was about 50 seconds slower than the last 5, today I narrowed the gap so that the overall pace variation was only about 20 seconds.  And, today's run was at the same pace as my last 20, and about 17 minutes faster than the 22 miler I did at this point in my training for Chicago.  This all bodes well.

Towards the end, I was tired and with about 1/2 mile to go, I remember 2 pretty cute guys passing me (fyi, this was during Springstein's "Born to Run").  I let them go, but as soon as Van Halen's "Right Now" started playing, I said, "F**k it, let's kick."

"To kick" means to push yourself extra hard at the finish.  So I went.  Past the 2 guys, and past a number of people.  A few times I thought I was going to nearly vomit, and during one of the great guitar rifts in that song, I swear I saw stars.

I kicked through the "finish line" (aka the light at the cross-walk) and sort of grabbed onto the fence to slow my momentum and turn around.  The two guys were there, running pretty close to the inside.  It seemed like I was in their way, but the guy on the outside reaches across his buddy holding up his hand to give me a high-five.  "Great job!" I got 2 high-fives from 2 strangers, which is a first during a training run.  (Races are different).  Despite my endorphin-juiced state after 22 miles, I managed back an enthusiastic "Thank you!"  After all, it was a pretty darn strong kick, and it was like all 3 of us knew I'd just had a great run.

22 miles in Central Park this morning to ponder the meaning of life

I get to spend a lot of time in Central Park.  Good thing I like the park so much

First year in my apartment!

I closed on my apartment a year ago (which was also one year after going into contract)

What an adventure it was to move everything myself (from across the street) when my movers never showed up!

I had a lot of time to imagine colors and furniture arrangements

It certainly is a pleasure coming home every day!

The light at sunset is amazing.  What an exciting year it has been

Post-Marathon Siesta in Barcelona!

I'm honestly not sure if this is a photo or a drawing.


After the Paris Marathon on April 5th, I'll work one day at company headquarters and then take 3 vacation days.  We have that Friday off for Good Friday (the only Capital Markets holiday that is not also a Federal Banking holiday), so I get an extra day before the weekend.  

Today I bought a flight for Barcelona for a ridiculously cheap price.  My plan is to bring my backpack (for backpacking, not school books), stay in a cheap hostel in a cool location, explore on my own a city I've never been to but have heard is amazing.  

I am incredibly grateful to get to stay in a nice hotel in Paris, but you have a totally different kind of adventure when you backpack like a college student on a budget.  And I can't wait!   

Playing...is NOT an intuitive concept for everyone.

I have a colleague just a few years older than me, an overachieving workaholic with an MBA, J.D (that is a law degree), a CFA, and oh yeah... no life outside of work.  

When we first started working together, my first thought was (obviously) who is this person?  I've since learned that he most likely has no other activities BUT work... or else doesn't know how to do anything else.  His family lives in another country, and he apparently also has a girlfriend also currently living in another country.  

He literally lives at the office.  In one of life's little dramatic ironies, his landlord threatened to evict him on New Years Eve because he was convinced he didn't actually live there.  So what does he do?  He spends the morning petitioning to the management company, and then comes into the office at 2:30 pm.  ON NEW YEARS EVE.  When the office closes at 3:00.  Per company policy, if you stay at work past 8:30, our company pays for a car service home.  He lives waaaaaay uptown.  (That car service concept is wasted on me because I get to walk to work, not that I would care to be in the office that late anyway).  But it is NOT necessary to work until 10:00 or 11:00 or midnight.  Saturday and Sunday, however, he does inform me he goes home early.  Like 7:00 pm.  ON SATURDAY.

He's also not the best time manager.  In fact, he's one of the least efficient workers I know, but seems to thinks he doesn't have a choice but to stay in the office and work past the point of exhaustion.

I gave him the New York Times article on the importance of playing, and made him read it.  Three times he chimes up with an "I disagree!" or "But...".  I tell him to keep reading.  He gets to the point about natural settings activating this involuntary attention.  

So what does he do?  He proceeds to spend the next 4 hours downloading a PICTURE of a green mountain with a lake.  It will be made into wallpaper on his desktop, he reasons, so he will get to spend his day in front of his computer in front of a natural setting.  Oh Goodness.  It takes so long because there are restrictions for downloading wallpapers, so he has to get IT to do it for him.   Forget actually GOING outside and looking at a tree (or even a city block and fresh air is an improvement), or forget getting your work done quickly and going home before 6pm on a Friday.  No, go download a picture on your computer of a natural setting.

Kids, this is not the point.  Playing should be PLAYING.  Go outside.

Keep on Playing!

Work-life balance is a major point of contention between me and my employers.  We differ sharply on the concept that "the longer you're in the office, the more work you do" and sitting in your chair for the sake of sitting in your chair.

I'm motivated to work efficiently and get things done so that I can leave in the evening to go run.  When I don't run, I am grumpy, sleep poorly, and overall less am productive and feel less happy.  Running-time is the only time I know I'll get fresh air all day, and I keep going during the day knowing I get to spend those miles after work (most of the time, occasionally before) in Central Park, my favorite spot in New York City.  

When I run with my friends, running is almost therapy- maybe it is something about sharing the bond of running/sweating/trying to have a conversation at an elevated heart rate in the first place that has brought my running buddies and me closer.  When I run alone, running is active meditation.  I think about something I'm trying to solve, or I intentionally let my mind wander to think about nothing at all.  Returning from a run leaves me re-inspired, refreshed, and energized.  In short, running is my play-time. 

The New York Times just published an article about the importance of recess in child development.  I beg to argue that it is not important to just young children, but that is besides the point.  Basically, there are 2 forms of attention- directed attention and involuntary attention.  Directed attention is what we use when we're concentrating on work, reading, sitting in front of a computer etc.  It is a limited resource and leaves us fatigued.  

On the other hand, involuntary attention kicks in when we are distracted by playing, and seems to kick in when we're in natural settings.  This kind of attention allows our directed attention to restore itself.  

Here is my favorite quote... "Young rats denied opportunities for rough-and-tumble play develop numerous social problems in adulthood.  They fail to recognize social cues and the nuances of rat hierarchy; they aren't able to mate.  By the same token, people who play as children 'learn to handle life in a much more resilient and vital way.'"

So, more proof that playing is important to physical and social development, and more fodder to my argument that running makes me work better.  

And as for the implied correlation based on rat studies between failing to play/failing to view playtime as important and socially-unadjusted colleagues with unhappy home lives?  I'll leave that one for the reader to decide.

If the weather were warmer today, I'm sure we'd all eat popsicles on tanks

...all wearing our Ironmaiden shirts too.